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Different types of engagement rings?

I was talking about engagement rings with a friend and am curious to see what everyone here thinks. I dislike diamonds. I have just never been fond of them! Because of this, I don't want a diamond engagement ring. My boyfriend knows this and is fine with it. However, my friend's opinion is that it's not a "real" engagement ring if it's not diamonds! She thinks it's a "cheap" way of getting out of buying a diamond and is more of a friendship/promise ring without a diamond. I started thinking and I don't know a single engaged/married person withOUT a diamond engagement ring! (I LOVE pearls and my engagement ring will hopefully be a pearl.) What do you think? Is it not a "real" engagement ring just because it doesn't have diamonds? I asked another friend who agreed with her! I know people will say "wear what you like," but I'm just curious to see what your opinions are on this. Does it really matter what the stone is??

Public Comments

Its up to you... you don't have to have diamonds and think of the money your boyfriend will save! It is traditional... but it's also 2007, and whatever makes you happy should work for you.
It's is silly to get a ring you won't like and won't want to wear. The engagement ring will only be worn a short while and then you will wear a band anyway. You could do sapphires and pearls, something like that. Princess Diana's engagement ring was a sapphire and they are technically more "rare" and "precious" than diamonds. Save the money and get a gorgeous pearl ring, this is the beginning of your life together and you want to always be independent and do what feels right for the two of you regardless what others think.
Heck no it doesn't matter!!! If you and your man are happy with it then thats really all that matters. It's your relationship - have fun! I wear a traditional solitare diamond, but I would never tell someone their engagmenet is fake because they decided to go a non-traditional route. Good luck!
The only people who can make the decision as to "what matters" are you and your boyfriend. Some people will think you're weird if you're engaged but didn't do something "traditionally" -- ignore them. The only people who matter on the topic of engagement are the two people getting engaged. Period. If you want a pearl ring, get a pearl ring. If you don't want a ring at all, don't get a ring. If you want to propose to him, go ahead (though etiquette says he doesn't get a ring in this case). This is too personal of a decision to leave up to what other people will think.
Anything goes these days! If a twist-tie wrapped around your finger makes you happy then that's what you should have. :)
A engagment ring is what ever type of ring that you like and as long as it you feel it symbolizes you engangement to you then who cares what others think you are the one who has to wear it. GET WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY and if a pearl is what you want then get it
An engagement ring is whatever is special and beautiful to you. It is cumstomary to recieve a diamond ring although I recently saw the most beautiful engagement ring with large pearl as the center stone surronded by tiny diamonds and it was breathtaking! You're the one who is going to wear it for the rest of your life so go for it!
No, the stone doesn't matter at all. Get what you like, you're the one that is going to be wearing it. The meaning behind the ring is what you and your sig other put into it. A diamond doesn't make the ring. A pearl ring would be gorgeous!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engagement_ring THE DIAMOND ISN'T EVEN TRADITIONAL! "The diamond engagement ring did not become the standard it is considered today until after an extensive marketing campaign by De Beers in the middle of the 20th century, which came to include one of the most famous advertising slogans of the 20th century: “A Diamond is Forever”." Therefore, the diamond wasn't a big deal until very recently and so it hardly makes or breaks the ring. Get what you want. Your truly unique ring will be a testament to your truly unique future.
Actually - there doesnt have to be a stone at all..... I'll admit that to me - diamonds are beautiful and I LOVE them, but dont allow someone to tell you that it's not an engagement ring if it doesnt contain a diamond - thats merely a materialistic phrase coming out of a materialistic person! Now, I also love pearls and I think a pearl engagement ring would be awesome and entirely unique.... Soooo, go for it - the pearl sounds beautiful and you can always design your own ring - and add more then one pearl if you like........
The ring is merely symbolic. The money saved (can be thousands) can be used towards the many other high-end expenses in your future (e.g., house, mini-van, honeymoon, stay-at-home money while taking care of baby and not employed, education, etc.).
Your engagment ring is whatever is special to you. Yes diamonds are traditional but are are also in the 21st century. Who said everything has to be traditional? I think a pearl engagment ring would be fabulous because its not something you see every day. It doesn't matter what stone it is. What matters is the commitment behind the symbol and that you are happy with it.
if you don't want diamonds, don't get diamonds. my friend has a beautiful engagement ring and even though it's surrounded by small diamonds, the main stone is a blue sapphire. an engagement ring is something that is a symbol of the love two people share and all that matters is that when he picks out a ring, he's thinking of you. so, it's definitely something that is what you want. just because they think it's not "real" or that it's cheap is not a reason you should give in if that's not what you want. you will have this ring for the rest of your life.
It doesn't matter what the stone is, it doesn't even matter if you have the ring or not. Doesn't make you any more or less engaged, any more or less married. In my home country, there is no tradition of giving an "engagement" ring; you simply apply for the equivalent of the "marriage license", set the date for the ceremony, and exchange the wedding bands at the ceremony. Here in the US, it's traditional for a man to give the woman an engagement ring at the time of the proposal, and it's traditionally and predominantly a diamond ring; however, it's not written down anywhere, it isn't a law - it's simply a tradition that you can follow, cast aside or adapt to your tastes as you see fit. (newportbeach is right, the tradition itself is fairly recent, but it's a tradition nevertheless.) To me, a ring was symbolic of our commitment, I really like rings, and there was a particular ring I wanted, so my husband and I went out and got this ring as our "engagement" ring; it's a blue topaz and white gold, I think it's stunning, and I get compliments on it all the time. I would have bought this ring regardless of the engagement, but now it has a beautiful symbolic meaning attached to it, and I don't see why it had to have been a diamond (I've never liked diamonds much). Any ring you point at and say - "it's my engagement ring" - IS a *real* engagement ring. It's not the material the object is made of that infuses it with meaning - it is your perception of the object. I think your friends who have made these comments are either young and naive, fairly closed-minded, or have simply never learned to think for themselves.
I have had this discussion with my boyfriend. He doesnt like diamonds, because of the blood diamonds and he likes to go away from the normal.....he likes to be different. Anyways I thought about it but I just cant imagine having a ring that is not a diamond! How did the diamond companies manage to brainwash us so???? It is scary really. So me, I guess I wont feel like it is an engagement ring unless it has a diamond (sad I know) But I would consider a saphire or ruby ring, with diamond accents. Knowing my man, I will get something quite out of the ordinary. I actually love white saphires, they are prettier and even rarer than dioamonds. I certainly wont be saying no, whatever he eventually presents me with. I know a girl with a blue topaz engagement ring and 3 people with saphire engagement rings. Hope that answers your question and I feel ashamed to be so superficial.
There is no rule that says the engagement ring has to be a Diamond.. Princess Diana's ring was a Saphire surrounded with diamonds.... My Future sister-in-laws ring is Orange( can't remember the stone) And her husbands wedding band is also orange with a black stone.. Cuz they got married on Halloween.. Remember you have to wear it and no one else.. So get your Pearls maybe with some diamonds.. and get a wedding band that has some diamonds in it.. Good Luck.. :)
Your friend's head is stuck in a bubble. There are tons of people who don't have diamond engagement rings, me being one of them. Princess Diana had a sapphire. And there's nothing "cheap" about not having a diamond. Other gemstones can be much more valuable than diamonds, especially since diamond are not as rare as the industry wants people to believe. They withhold diamonds to the public in order to keep the price up. A little research will tell you that. I find it interesting you want a pearl. My mother had a pearl engagement ring and I met a couple who just got engaged and she had a pearl engagement ring as well! So you're not alone.
Forget about what your friend says. Get the engagement ring YOU want. (And perhaps she'll get the engagement ring she loves if she doesn't have it already.) You're the one going to wear it. Why wear a stone you hate??? Your friend has been successfully brainwashed by the diamond industry that the only acceptable engagement ring is diamond.
Honey, the engagement is in the comittment to marry, not in the stone! It was quite popular in the mid-80s to get engagement rings with rubies or emeralds rather than diamonds. My sister's engagement ring is a ruby, and it's beautiful. They were no less engaged, and are no less married, for not having used a diamond ring. The whole diamond engagement ring thing is nothing but a HUGE marketing ploy. A diamond engagement ring is not rooted in any meaningful tradition: it is rooted in methods to separate grooms from their money. It's the sentiment of the ring that's important, and if a pearl is more meaningful to you, then I say get a pearl and don't explain yourself to anyone. Good for you to buck the pressure! Have a happy marriage.
Tell your friend to go stuff it. She obviously doesn't know what she is talking about. I have an engagement ring that has a Alexandrite in it. It is green under sun light but in candle light it is as purple as Amethyst. (link)
Rhett Butler gave Scarlet O'Hara an emerald engagement ring.
All great answers. Here's my two cents: If you plan to wear this ring after you get married (along with your wedding ring), remember that you will ALWAYS be wearing it. Choose a ring that is appropriately formal and casual and goes with anything you might war. (That's one reason a diamond is nice-- it's sparkly and rather neutral.) I think it can be a "real" engagement ring with whatever stone, so long as it has at least a fairly distinct solitare of something on it (with or without side stones). But hey, you may not even want a ring... and that's super cool!
My engagement ring is a 3/4 carat purple sapphire. It's a real engagement ring as evidenced by the real wedding band it sits next to. Your friend is nuts. I think a pearl might be too fragile for everyday wear and tear, but I'm not sure. I do think that if you're going to go with a non-traditional stone it should be cut and set traditionally.
I have a friend who got engaged 24 years ago. She didn't have an engagement ring, a simple wedding and wears a plain gold wedding ring. 24 years, 3 children and 6 grandchildren later, she still has no diamonds but a VERY happy marriage and family life. THE RING, diamond or otherwise is a matter of choice. I think the diamond idea is because diamonds are the hardest and longest lasting stone. If you want a pearl, go girl - get a pearl!
The diamond industry started that rumor. I've had friends with different stones, or none at all. How awful would it be to sigh with dislike every time you saw your hands?
ok if its ur ring.. ur wedding and ur boyfriend get what u want. its a sign that u are married there is no law that states it must be a diamond. if u dont like diamonds why would u wear one hello... my retarted fiancee wanted a green lantern wedding ring and i didnt care its his ring. as long as he wears it an lets people know he is taken im all for it. fortunately he opted out of it due to cost issues but one day he may just get it. girlfriend ur friend isnt wearing it u get that pearl
An engagement and marriage should not be based on what is on your finger. If you love each other and you do not like diamonds, do not get diamonds. Some people take weddings and engagements too far. It is a time for you and you other half to begin a new life together in the presence of family and friends. The ring on your finger should be the least of importance. As for what is in the ring...that is personal preference. If you do not like diamonds do not get a diamond ring, get the pearl ring. You should have a ring you like not what everyone else may have or think. As for real..."real" is whatever you make it. You make it real not a ring.
Princess Diana had a sapphire engagment ring, Fergie had a ruby, Princess Mary has a ruby and diamond and there is other European royality that had gemstones. Heather Mills engagment ring from Paul was a sapphire and he is one of the richest man in the world. Don't go with a diamond to just shut up all the other dull boring women that need a diamond because that is what everyone else has. Be strong and proud to want to have something less common and more unique fitting for you. As for it being cheaper, some quality gemstones can cost way more than white diamonds. Not to mention that most women have a small diamond ring that doesn't cost much anyway as they can't afford an expensive one, so why not have a gemstone or pearl instead? It should be about the ring not the cost of it, so ignore those shallow stupid comments and get what you want instead.
You've received some wonderful answers on here. I agree that you and your bf should get the ring that makes you both happy because it is a representation of your commitment to each other. To the poster with the "blood diamond" concern, do not be concerned. All the big reputable jewelers only handle diamonds that have been thru a series of checks and balances known as the Kimberly Process. My only concern is that a pearl is a fragile stone and will need to always be treated gently.
So long as you like the ring, that is all that matters. Remember that you will be the person wearing it and not your friend/s. While an engagement ring is traditionally that of a diamond I do not believe it states anywhere that you could not replace it with something a little more your own style. My best friend and I have completely different views on rings, she like you doesn't really like diamonds. Instead she wants a ruby ring whereas I would prefer a diamond. It is differences like these that make the world go around. Your engagement ring should reflect your style and personality not what others (aside from the groom to be) deem to be an engagement ring. As my boyfriend said to me " I want you to love the ring I get you because I want you to wear it for the rest of your life." That is what love is about and an engagement ring is simply a symbol of that love and is not defined by it.
No, it doesn't matter if it's a diamond or not. People choose diamonds because of their strength - and frankly, also because they are clear, so they match everything. When the time comes, hopefully your bf will choose something you like.